Thursday, July 3, 2008

How It Played Out - 25th Anniversary Recollections

Cindy: I remembered that Jan Woods had a sort of request list for when someone would ask her to marry him. She went through the book of Ruth and found character traits that were in Boaz. I decide it wouldn't hurt to do that. I don't have the list any more but from what I can remember Boaz was a kind man and he was resolute to do what was right. It seems like it says, "He wouldn't rest until it was settled." I prayed over these things.

The next week I made an appointment to talk with Bill Woods about my conversation with Rob. Bill told me that I had insulated myself from relationships. I tended to back off if they got too close, but that wasn't healthy for the church. The body couldn't function properly if people weren't honest. If, perchance, there was a person that I felt a bond with -- more than just sharing a hymnal -- then I needed to ask God to work specific things in that person. Character traits, Bible verses, whatever God laid on my heart. Bill said I could be confident God was at work when the man did what I had been praying. I set about to do that for my dear friend John.

John had rescued me many times from rodents, lawn mowing, and not having a ride. He knew I was insecure with guy/girl relationships so I didn't think he would have unrealistic expectations. Besides, he had expressed care for me when we both worked at David's and at a conference we both attended before I moved to Indiana.

John: A very interesting thing happened after the campus fellowship meeting the next Friday night. The singles often went out to eat after fellowship. I happened to be with several younger guys at a restaurant when Cindy and some other girls from the fellowship walked by -- and we chatted briefly. One of the guys with me asked, "Is that your wife?" I answered, "No." but noted how curious a question it was.

Sunday morning came. I had to leave for work immediately after church. Bill spoke about Ruth and Boaz at worship that morning. Ruth and Boaz were another set of "major players" in my concept of my relationship with Cindy. Boaz's love for Ruth led him to take charge and settle things with regard to her well-being. Things had been building for several days and by this point, I was pretty bothered by this whole thing being unsettled. I kept praying when I had moments alone at work, like going to the stockroom for things.

After work, I went home and as I was there alone, I kept praying fervently about this situation. My promise to God was that if I determined that it was the right thing to do, I would follow through with it. I had been reminded again and again about my perspective of Moses crossing the Red Sea and as I thought about things and recounted them in my mind prayerfully, I realized that I had been brought to this point and there was only one thing to do. Almost audibly, I heard, "what are you waiting for, move forward." I didn't think about it at the time, but that was what God told Moses to do when he cried out to God about the approaching Egyptian army. I realized that I that it was time to get on with it.

As I went to the car and began to drive over to Cindy's, I knew that whatever the outcome -- keep in mind that we had not dated, we had not spoken about this together and she might totally shut me down -- I had to follow it out to the conclusion. I arrived at Cindy's apartment and knocked on the front door. There was no answer. Should I give up and go home? I thought, "no I have to settle this today," so I went to the back door. I knocked and Cindy answered the door.

Cindy: No more than two weeks had passed and I was having a very emotional day. I was dressed in orange sweat pants and shirt -- not expecting company -- ughh! There was a knock at my kitchen door. When I went to the door, John was there. He said he had to talk to me and ask me something. I invited him inside and we sat down. He said God had given him a special love for me and he wanted to ask me to marry him. Because I needed to have confidence that God was at work in this, I said, "On what basis?" John said, "Because God has given us an 'iron sharpens iron' relationship and I just can't rest until this is settled." When he said that, I said "Yes." I probably cried, too.

John: I was not expecting Cindy’s response, "On what basis?" So when she asked, I knew what I appreciated about her and our relationship, and I just knew I had to settle this. As it turned out, these exact things were what she needed to confirm what she had been praying. What a relief when she sighed and said, "Yes."

After that, we both wanted to share the happy news with Bill and Jan. We announced it to them and went over to visit for a while, then stayed up late and started planning, calling people and just rejoicing in our news...

This was just the beginning of miracles in our life together, small and large. We were able to pull together a wedding in six weeks, Cindy found a beautiful wedding dress and veil at a fraction of its original cost at a wedding shop. Later, my vision of Abraham and Sarah was fulfilled this way: After over a year of trying to have a baby with various infertility treatments, God blessed us with Joseph. That is another story. When Cindy and I chose an imprint for our wedding napkins, we chose the Bible verse about "a cord of three strands is not easily broken." Jesus has been the "strong strand" in the cord of our life together and we are thankful to be able to celebrate these twenty-five years together.

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