How Cindy and I Met - 25th Anniversary Recollections

John: The first time I met Cindy -- in 1977 -- was at a weekend conference held at a camp next to Caney Lake, just a little ways from Ruston, Louisiana. I had traveled there from Emporia, Kansas with Bill Woods, my pastor. Bill was one of the conference speakers that weekend.

To properly understand the context that all these things happened in, I should do a little background about our church experience. In the early 1970's, several young men and women began an itinerant evangelistic outreach that focused on college campuses. They would locate at a campus, put on musical programs in the dorms, have Bible studies, have outdoor preaching and follow up by trying to band those who responded together as a fledgling church. After a period of time, they would move on to another campus and do the same thing. As a result, there were -- for lack of a better description -- campus Bible study churches from Texas to Ohio to Florida to Louisiana and many campuses in between. Bill Woods was a product of this outreach at Kansas University and had become a facilitator of other similar churches.

When God awakened me to my spiritual need, it was through this type of church, located where I went to college at Emporia State University in Kansas. Cindy had already been a member of the church at Louisiana Tech in Ruston for several years. It was the church at Louisiana Tech that had invited a sister church from Houston for a joint Christian Living conference and Bill Woods was one of the two invited speakers. As one of the founders of the church at Ruston, Bill was the common denominator between Emporia and Ruston.

I distinctly remember sitting outside the dining/meeting hall at a picnic table and talking with Cindy for a short period of time. One thing we still laugh about -- I remember having the conversation and she doesn't. I joke that I must have made a fantastic impression on her! In her defense, when we met and had that conversation, I was pretty overweight and it would be no wonder that when our trails crossed later, I looked different, having lost about 55 pounds.

After the conference, Bill and I traveled back to Ruston, and stayed over at the home of several single men who were in the church there. Cindy and someone else -- I can't remember who -- came over and made a travel lunch for Bill and myself before we headed back to Kansas. Along the way, when we unpacked our lunches, I found an index card with the food. It had the verse saying, "Whom have I in heaven but Thee and there is none upon the earth that I desire but Thee." For some reason I kept that index card for years -- and Cindy was very surprised to find it when she was unpacking my things at the apartment when we returned from our honeymoon.

Sometime later -- in 1979, I think -- Cindy was invited by Bill to consider joining the young fellowship at Emporia to help with the campus and community outreach. Cindy was very ill when the time came to move from Louisiana. She had to have some men in the fellowship drive her car up and move her things while she took a flight. Not long after her arrival, she was hospitalized had to have surgery for her ongoing "female" problems. I remember visiting her in the hospital, but mainly I was kind of a bother to her. I say that for this reason: I was very shy around her and didn't really know what to say -- so I made up for it by repeating things I read in the then-popular book How to Speak Southern. Not the thing to do!

Bill involved me in a project he and Dave Cook -- a pastor from Lawrence, Kansas -- were developing. The vision for this project was to form a pop-rock band that used Top-40 hit music to develop thematic programs bringing biblical concepts into focus. Dave Cook had been a professional drummer, I had been a semi-pro bass player and Bill recruited other band members from several sister churches that were talent-rich. Rehearsals and the subsequent "City Lights" tour kept me pretty tied up through the end of 1980.

After touring, we were sort of in limbo, thinking we might regroup after a rest and go at again. The possibility existed that me might relocate to a place more central to the network of campuses we were involved with. Bloomington, Indiana was one possibility. In the meantime, I got a job at a local discount store named David's -- sort of a regional Target -- which was where Cindy worked in the Cash Office. That was where I began to develop a true affection for her. I wanted to develop a deeper relationship with her, but was torn and fearful. As I pondered my options, I kept thinking of a common Biblical image, one that would figure into events later on. The image was that of Moses bringing the people of Israel to the Red Sea. When they were being apprehended by the Egyptian army, God parted the sea in order for the Israelites to pass over. I always felt in my relationship with Cindy that I was at the sea but it would not part. Until it did, I could not "move forward".

After several months, plans began being implemented for a team of couples and singles to migrate to Bloomington for a church plant. There was no discussion of reviving the music group, but I was urged by the church pastors to relocate to Bloomington. There was little doubt that part of the reason was that as they observed me in relation to Cindy, they realized that there was more emotion than substance and a little distance might put things in a better perspective. That summer, three small teams moved to Bloomington, a month apart. I was in the middle group and moved to Indiana early in June. I busied myself finding work -- not easy to do with 12% unemployment -- but after several weeks, I landed a job as a counter salesperson at Bender Lumber Company in Bloomington and settled in to work and campus ministry.

In the late fall, we had a retreat at an old mansion north of Bloomington. Several people who were still in Emporia came up for the weekend -- including Cindy. Late one evening, we got a change to chat with each other. Among other things, we talked about how we "used to" have feelings for each other months before, but we were past it now. For my own part, that was definitely not the truth. In reality, I never got over it -- and I still haven't!

The following fall, more people, including Bill and Jan Woods and Cindy had made the move to Bloomington and we all busied ourselves with our work and with campus bible studies and fellowship. For my part, I just tried to ignore my feelings and be productive. There were enjoyable opportunities to help her out with little things, like setting and emptying mouse traps, putting on window plastic for winter, having homemade mushroom soup -- yum! I tried to enjoy just being friends and that was okay for then. On through the winter and into the new year, on Valentine’s Day, I remember calling Cindy and chatting with her for several hours. I so enjoyed her. My roommate, Rob was aware of these things and marriage -- in generalities but not specifically -- was a topic of discussion between us.