Today is the second anniversary of Cindy's passing. Thank you to the many folks who continue to Remember Cindy.
Also, please remember Cindy's older sister Ann and family. Ann lost her husband, Jim to a heart attack recently and he is missed very much.
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Remembering A Birthday
Today is Cindy's birthday. She would have been 57 today. As Jesus spoke concerning God and Abraham... "He is not the God of the dead but of the living." Amen
If you haven't seen this video about Cindy, have a look.
If you haven't seen this video about Cindy, have a look.
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Cindy Rowland - One Year Later
(This is cross-posted with my own blog)
Today is the first anniversary of Cindy's passing. I have thought back this weekend about the events of June 26-28, 2009. I believe the last time she was conscious was Friday, June 26 in the afternoon. I remember her telling me as I bent down to her, "I think this is it."
In church this morning, the song special was "Follow Me" by Ira Stamphill. The last verse ends with:
"If just a cup of water I place within your hand
Then just a cup of water is all that I demand.
But if by death to living they can Thy glory see,
I'll take my cross and follow close to Thee."
Cindy, unpretentious, humble, loving, desiring God's glory. Those words Ira Stamphill took from Matthew 25 were special to Cindy. They reminded me so much of her.
Today is the first anniversary of Cindy's passing. I have thought back this weekend about the events of June 26-28, 2009. I believe the last time she was conscious was Friday, June 26 in the afternoon. I remember her telling me as I bent down to her, "I think this is it."
In church this morning, the song special was "Follow Me" by Ira Stamphill. The last verse ends with:
"If just a cup of water I place within your hand
Then just a cup of water is all that I demand.
But if by death to living they can Thy glory see,
I'll take my cross and follow close to Thee."
Cindy, unpretentious, humble, loving, desiring God's glory. Those words Ira Stamphill took from Matthew 25 were special to Cindy. They reminded me so much of her.
Monday, June 29, 2009
Cindy Rowland 1953 - 2009
Ever since I met Cindy in 1977, I have always admired her faith. She has had an unwaivering quality of seriousness and respect for the Lord God that was vibrant and personal, not dull and joyless. Her faith was at once simple and intellectually stimulating. For twenty-six years I have enjoyed having her as a sounding board and true partner to work our way through life issues from the standpoint of faith and scripture. She didn't believe that faith belonged only in the church building or the private prayer closet.
Cindy selflessly worked and invested herself in my success. She beautified our home and made it a special place. Proverbs 31 says "the heart of her husband trusts in her, so he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil, all the days of her life," This is an accurate description of her dealing with me for as long as we have had a covenant commitment to each other.
Cindy loved children and was a child-magnet. She made them feel special and loved to play, tell stories and teach them. A great joy in her life was to have a son, Joseph, a great joy of her life, when she had come to believe she was going to be childless.
She was an avid reader and knew how important reading is for life. She read books and told stories to Joseph and many other children as a homeschool mom and as a participant in library reading programs, successfully instilling a love for literacy in many. She loved mysteries and classics as well as works by those whose had gone through deep waters in their walk with God - Elisabeth Eliot, Amy Carmichael and Corrie ten Boom and others. She also loved works by ones like Francis Schaeffer that challenged our thinking about how God's truth should be worked out in the reality of life and society.
Cindy had a love for disadvantaged people which she showed by her involvement in special education, both as a teacher and volunteer. She also showed this love through other acts of kindness to people in her community. She was motivated by Jesus' words in Matthew 25 that said "as you have done for the least of these... you have done for me."
Having said all that, the last thing Cindy would want is to be "in the limelight". Her name means "Reflector of Light". She viewed herself only in that way - a reflection of her Lord and Savior. No more, no less. Well done, Princess.
The Back Side of the Rainbow - Thoughts on life's struggles by Cindy
This is a compilation of thoughts from Cindy's journal which she always wanted to get presentable (so she could encourage others) as she dealt with the challenges of chemo. She never did get it into shape, but I will do it for her today, in her memory. Cindy continued her habit of journaling as her health allowed. In her last couple of months, she became unable to write cogently or legibly. It was tough for her to lose these abilities, because she was a rich thinker and had beautiful handwriting as her friends would know. As her analogy goes below, there is purpose even when we can't see it. We must learn to trust.
Cindy Taunton Rowland was born July 29, 1953 in El Dorado. She left this life June 28, 2009. Cindy was diagnosed with cancer in 2004 and she sought to bring joy, hope and encouragement to others even as she fought the disease in the following years. She was a woman of faith and a follower of Jesus Christ. She was a homemaker and member of Caledonia Baptist Church. She loved her own family and her church family very much. Cindy also had a love for disadvantaged people which she showed by her involvement in special education and through other acts of kindness to people in her community.
She was preceded in death by her father and mother, L.A. and Eva Taunton, as well as a brother, Eddie Taunton, for whom she had a special love. She leaves behind husband John Rowland, of Junction City, son Joseph Rowland, of Conway, brothers Tommy Taunton and wife Inez , of Strong, Paul Taunton and wife Geneva of Camden, sisters Alice Halfacre and husband Bill of Bull Shoals, Betty Kelly and husband Alvin of Junction City, and Ann Bearden and husband Jim of Anna, Texas, along with many nieces and nephews and a great host of friends. She will be greatly missed.
She will be remembered Friday, July 3, 10:00 a.m. at Caledonia Baptist Church, 2192 Wingfield Lake Road, El Dorado. Burial will follow at the Caledonia Cemetery. Caledonia Baptist Church is located south of El Dorado at the intersection of Wingfield Lake Road (Boy Scout Camp Road) and Caledonia Road.
In lieu of flowers, donations may be given to Caledonia Baptist Church, 2192 Wingfield Lake Road, El Dorado AR 71730 or Hospice of Caring Hearts, 463 Pea Ridge Road, Dubach LA 71235.
Links:
Funeral Home Register
Photos of Cindy
Other Cindy links since cancer
.
Cindy selflessly worked and invested herself in my success. She beautified our home and made it a special place. Proverbs 31 says "the heart of her husband trusts in her, so he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil, all the days of her life," This is an accurate description of her dealing with me for as long as we have had a covenant commitment to each other.
Cindy loved children and was a child-magnet. She made them feel special and loved to play, tell stories and teach them. A great joy in her life was to have a son, Joseph, a great joy of her life, when she had come to believe she was going to be childless.
She was an avid reader and knew how important reading is for life. She read books and told stories to Joseph and many other children as a homeschool mom and as a participant in library reading programs, successfully instilling a love for literacy in many. She loved mysteries and classics as well as works by those whose had gone through deep waters in their walk with God - Elisabeth Eliot, Amy Carmichael and Corrie ten Boom and others. She also loved works by ones like Francis Schaeffer that challenged our thinking about how God's truth should be worked out in the reality of life and society.
Cindy had a love for disadvantaged people which she showed by her involvement in special education, both as a teacher and volunteer. She also showed this love through other acts of kindness to people in her community. She was motivated by Jesus' words in Matthew 25 that said "as you have done for the least of these... you have done for me."
Having said all that, the last thing Cindy would want is to be "in the limelight". Her name means "Reflector of Light". She viewed herself only in that way - a reflection of her Lord and Savior. No more, no less. Well done, Princess.
The Back Side of the Rainbow - Thoughts on life's struggles by Cindy
This is a compilation of thoughts from Cindy's journal which she always wanted to get presentable (so she could encourage others) as she dealt with the challenges of chemo. She never did get it into shape, but I will do it for her today, in her memory. Cindy continued her habit of journaling as her health allowed. In her last couple of months, she became unable to write cogently or legibly. It was tough for her to lose these abilities, because she was a rich thinker and had beautiful handwriting as her friends would know. As her analogy goes below, there is purpose even when we can't see it. We must learn to trust.
July 10, 2005
I had a thought yesterday. As we were sitting on our porch, a gentle rain was falling. The sun peeked through the clouds. I realized and expressed that we are on the "wrong side of the rainbow." That is, even though you know it is there [if the sun was behind us shining on the rain, we would see a rainbow, but since the sun was coming from the other direction, we couldn't see the reflection, though someone far west on the other side did]. So when I have dealt with cancer, child raising challenges, financial worries, and many "problems", it was hard to see the purpose in it. But we know, because God said so, that there is purpose in it all. His eternal purpose.
July 15, 2005
I am still thinking about being on the wrong side of the rainbow. The unseen realities of heaven's rule -- Hebrews 11:1-3 Amplified: "Now faith is the assurance (the confirmation, the title deed) of the things [we] hope for, being the proof of things [we] do not see and the conviction of their reality - faith perceiving as real fact what is not revealed to the senses. For by [faith], and trust and holy fervor born of faith, the men of old had divine testimony borne to them and obtained a good report. By faith we understand that the world were framed - fashioned, put in order and equipped for the intended purpose - by the word of God, so that what we see was not made out of things which are visible."
So again, coming back to being on the wrong side of the rainbow, you realize it is an analogy to many things. God's rule - unseen but true, His creation - which many say evolved because they depend on what they see, God's purposes - because suffering isn't without purpose, it has eternal (unseen) purpose. 2 Corinthians 4:18 Amplified: "Since we consider and look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen, for the things that are visible are temporal (brief and fleeting) but the things that are invisible are deathless and everlasting."
The rainbow is mentioned often when the throne of God is mentioned, so I know it has special significance. But right now with my little mind I am reminded of the eternal, the rule of God and His purposes.
Ezekiel 1:28 describes the glory of the Lord as a rainbow.
July 21, 2005
This morning it dawned on me that faith is more of a clear comparison "on the back side of the rainbow." We live by faith. Hebrews 11:1 - but as usual, I had already said that the last time (July 15) I wrote, but I forgot. It took several days to cement in my mind, I guess.
Cindy Taunton Rowland was born July 29, 1953 in El Dorado. She left this life June 28, 2009. Cindy was diagnosed with cancer in 2004 and she sought to bring joy, hope and encouragement to others even as she fought the disease in the following years. She was a woman of faith and a follower of Jesus Christ. She was a homemaker and member of Caledonia Baptist Church. She loved her own family and her church family very much. Cindy also had a love for disadvantaged people which she showed by her involvement in special education and through other acts of kindness to people in her community.
She was preceded in death by her father and mother, L.A. and Eva Taunton, as well as a brother, Eddie Taunton, for whom she had a special love. She leaves behind husband John Rowland, of Junction City, son Joseph Rowland, of Conway, brothers Tommy Taunton and wife Inez , of Strong, Paul Taunton and wife Geneva of Camden, sisters Alice Halfacre and husband Bill of Bull Shoals, Betty Kelly and husband Alvin of Junction City, and Ann Bearden and husband Jim of Anna, Texas, along with many nieces and nephews and a great host of friends. She will be greatly missed.
She will be remembered Friday, July 3, 10:00 a.m. at Caledonia Baptist Church, 2192 Wingfield Lake Road, El Dorado. Burial will follow at the Caledonia Cemetery. Caledonia Baptist Church is located south of El Dorado at the intersection of Wingfield Lake Road (Boy Scout Camp Road) and Caledonia Road.
In lieu of flowers, donations may be given to Caledonia Baptist Church, 2192 Wingfield Lake Road, El Dorado AR 71730 or Hospice of Caring Hearts, 463 Pea Ridge Road, Dubach LA 71235.
Links:
Funeral Home Register
Photos of Cindy
Other Cindy links since cancer
.
Sunday, May 17, 2009
On the Home Front
I've not written anything "personal" since the end of last year. Well, that's not exactly true, because even if I write commentary (Joseph calls it John-mentary) on the scriptures or culture, it's not just academic.
Anyway, Cindy has been dealing with chemotherapy-induced congestive heart failure (CHF) since October 2007. Though she managed it fairly well, she had some issues the Monday after Christmas 2008 which needed medical attention. Because her cardiologist was out of town, her primary care doctor recommended that we use the emergency room at the medical center. This began a downward spiral of CHF where she was over-hydrated, under-hydrated, in cardiac ICU... long story short, she was in the hospital for almost three weeks with both heart and kidney failure. Unable to have chemo and tired of having endless cycles of blood work, medication adjustments, she opted to go into hospice care early in March.
Our hospice team has been wonderful to us. Our siblings, and my parents, our friends and church family, my boss and co-workers -- all have been forthcoming with great acts of kindness and generosity. We have been so greatly blessed through it.
Cindy has had times of extreme weakness. In that sense, she is a little better now, though still very weak. Her respiration is very shallow and she is on oxygen full-time. Her feet, ankles and legs are very swollen, like the Michelin man, and are painful. This fluid buildup is caused by her CHF -- the heart not pumping well enough to pull the fluid off. Diuretics were helping at one point in time, but they no longer do the job. This is probably due to cancerous tissue in her abdomen blocking the fluid return. She is getting to the point where not only is walking painful, but just sitting with her feet dangling is painful as well. Reclining is becoming the least painful option.
Anyway, in spite of it all, she has a sweet spirit. It has been a great pleasure, as her time may be drawing near, to be her night/weekend aide. Helping in every way I'm able to. It is a joy to show love to her in this way. We love because Christ first loved us. She called this weekend a "fairy tale" weekend, because she has felt fairly well (despite the legs) and has had enjoyable times of prayer and had enjoyed visiting. Hopefully, she will have many more "fairy tales".
Anyway, Cindy has been dealing with chemotherapy-induced congestive heart failure (CHF) since October 2007. Though she managed it fairly well, she had some issues the Monday after Christmas 2008 which needed medical attention. Because her cardiologist was out of town, her primary care doctor recommended that we use the emergency room at the medical center. This began a downward spiral of CHF where she was over-hydrated, under-hydrated, in cardiac ICU... long story short, she was in the hospital for almost three weeks with both heart and kidney failure. Unable to have chemo and tired of having endless cycles of blood work, medication adjustments, she opted to go into hospice care early in March.
Our hospice team has been wonderful to us. Our siblings, and my parents, our friends and church family, my boss and co-workers -- all have been forthcoming with great acts of kindness and generosity. We have been so greatly blessed through it.
Cindy has had times of extreme weakness. In that sense, she is a little better now, though still very weak. Her respiration is very shallow and she is on oxygen full-time. Her feet, ankles and legs are very swollen, like the Michelin man, and are painful. This fluid buildup is caused by her CHF -- the heart not pumping well enough to pull the fluid off. Diuretics were helping at one point in time, but they no longer do the job. This is probably due to cancerous tissue in her abdomen blocking the fluid return. She is getting to the point where not only is walking painful, but just sitting with her feet dangling is painful as well. Reclining is becoming the least painful option.
Anyway, in spite of it all, she has a sweet spirit. It has been a great pleasure, as her time may be drawing near, to be her night/weekend aide. Helping in every way I'm able to. It is a joy to show love to her in this way. We love because Christ first loved us. She called this weekend a "fairy tale" weekend, because she has felt fairly well (despite the legs) and has had enjoyable times of prayer and had enjoyed visiting. Hopefully, she will have many more "fairy tales".
Thursday, January 22, 2009
The Basin and The Towel
In an upstairs room, a parable
is just about to come alive.
And while they bicker about who's best,
with a painful glance, He'll silently rise.
Their Savior Servant must show them how
through the will of the water
and the tenderness of the towel.
And the call is to community,
The impoverished power that sets the soul free.
In humility, to take the vow,
that day after day we must take up the basin and the towel.
In any ordinary place,
on any ordinary day,
the parable can live again
when one will kneel and one will yield.
Our Saviour Servant must show us how
through the will of the water
and the tenderness of the towel.
And the space between ourselves sometimes
is more than the distance between the stars.
By the fragile bridge of the Servant's bow
we take up the basin and the towel.
And the call is to community,
The impoverished power that sets the soul free.
In humility, to take the vow,
that day after day we must take up the basin and the towel.
Michael Card
Getting to learn a lot about this these days.
Thursday, November 27, 2008
The Rowlands :: Christmas 2008
It's Thanksgiving Day. I have finished cleaning up the smoker and slicing smoked meat and potatoes. I look forward to sitting down with Cindy and Joseph in a while to enjoy some of our bountiful fixin's and ...pumpkin pie. The holiday season has begun early this year. Seems like the Christmas shopping push comes earlier each year. In spite of the bleak times we are wading into as a nation, we have a great deal that we are thankful for and look forward, as ever, to celebrating the advent of the King of Kings.
We miss Cindy's brother Eddie this year. He passed away the last day of February this year after a number of compounding health problems. He had lived in our home since Cindy's mother passed away in early 2000.
Cindy and I celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary this spring. My family hosted a reception at the Caledonia Baptist fellowship hall and we tremendously enjoyed having many friends and family members celebrate it with us.
Many of you remain concerned for Cindy's health. In February, it will be five years since she was diagnosed with cancer. None of her last five years have been easy, but this year has been harder than most for her. After returning from our UK trip last year, we had a number of medical decisions to make. In January, she had a difficult surgery to remove two tumors in her right lung. Recovery has been long and hard, compounded by a weakened heart. In July, she began chemo again to fight a remaining tumor in her abdomen. Happily, she is benefitting from the chemo, though it seems each bout gets a little harder. She is still smiling.
Joseph continues to work at Arkansas Educational Television (AETN). We enjoyed his first project as co-producer, which was an hour-long special dealing with water problems in Arkansas called “Troubled Waters”. It has aired many times since it was released in the spring. He was able to write and perform some of the music for that show. Since then he has taken on the task of bringing their media content to the internet.
I celebrated another anniversary this year – my 10th year with Murphy Oil Corporation. I am still responsible for messaging systems (which used to be just email but now includes Blackberrys and instant messaging). I manage several other systems as well and work with a terrific bunch of people.
Our church family at Caledonia Baptist had a sorrowful loss this year as Pastor Hugh Nelson's wife, Marian, succumbed to cancer. This has meant tremendous changes for him and we have all sought to lift him up and keep us all moving ahead.
We miss Cindy's brother Eddie this year. He passed away the last day of February this year after a number of compounding health problems. He had lived in our home since Cindy's mother passed away in early 2000.
Cindy and I celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary this spring. My family hosted a reception at the Caledonia Baptist fellowship hall and we tremendously enjoyed having many friends and family members celebrate it with us.
Many of you remain concerned for Cindy's health. In February, it will be five years since she was diagnosed with cancer. None of her last five years have been easy, but this year has been harder than most for her. After returning from our UK trip last year, we had a number of medical decisions to make. In January, she had a difficult surgery to remove two tumors in her right lung. Recovery has been long and hard, compounded by a weakened heart. In July, she began chemo again to fight a remaining tumor in her abdomen. Happily, she is benefitting from the chemo, though it seems each bout gets a little harder. She is still smiling.
Joseph continues to work at Arkansas Educational Television (AETN). We enjoyed his first project as co-producer, which was an hour-long special dealing with water problems in Arkansas called “Troubled Waters”. It has aired many times since it was released in the spring. He was able to write and perform some of the music for that show. Since then he has taken on the task of bringing their media content to the internet.
I celebrated another anniversary this year – my 10th year with Murphy Oil Corporation. I am still responsible for messaging systems (which used to be just email but now includes Blackberrys and instant messaging). I manage several other systems as well and work with a terrific bunch of people.
Our church family at Caledonia Baptist had a sorrowful loss this year as Pastor Hugh Nelson's wife, Marian, succumbed to cancer. This has meant tremendous changes for him and we have all sought to lift him up and keep us all moving ahead.
Thursday, July 3, 2008
How It Played Out - 25th Anniversary Recollections
Cindy: I remembered that Jan Woods had a sort of request list for when someone would ask her to marry him. She went through the book of Ruth and found character traits that were in Boaz. I decide it wouldn't hurt to do that. I don't have the list any more but from what I can remember Boaz was a kind man and he was resolute to do what was right. It seems like it says, "He wouldn't rest until it was settled." I prayed over these things.
The next week I made an appointment to talk with Bill Woods about my conversation with Rob. Bill told me that I had insulated myself from relationships. I tended to back off if they got too close, but that wasn't healthy for the church. The body couldn't function properly if people weren't honest. If, perchance, there was a person that I felt a bond with -- more than just sharing a hymnal -- then I needed to ask God to work specific things in that person. Character traits, Bible verses, whatever God laid on my heart. Bill said I could be confident God was at work when the man did what I had been praying. I set about to do that for my dear friend John.
John had rescued me many times from rodents, lawn mowing, and not having a ride. He knew I was insecure with guy/girl relationships so I didn't think he would have unrealistic expectations. Besides, he had expressed care for me when we both worked at David's and at a conference we both attended before I moved to Indiana.
John: A very interesting thing happened after the campus fellowship meeting the next Friday night. The singles often went out to eat after fellowship. I happened to be with several younger guys at a restaurant when Cindy and some other girls from the fellowship walked by -- and we chatted briefly. One of the guys with me asked, "Is that your wife?" I answered, "No." but noted how curious a question it was.
Sunday morning came. I had to leave for work immediately after church. Bill spoke about Ruth and Boaz at worship that morning. Ruth and Boaz were another set of "major players" in my concept of my relationship with Cindy. Boaz's love for Ruth led him to take charge and settle things with regard to her well-being. Things had been building for several days and by this point, I was pretty bothered by this whole thing being unsettled. I kept praying when I had moments alone at work, like going to the stockroom for things.
After work, I went home and as I was there alone, I kept praying fervently about this situation. My promise to God was that if I determined that it was the right thing to do, I would follow through with it. I had been reminded again and again about my perspective of Moses crossing the Red Sea and as I thought about things and recounted them in my mind prayerfully, I realized that I had been brought to this point and there was only one thing to do. Almost audibly, I heard, "what are you waiting for, move forward." I didn't think about it at the time, but that was what God told Moses to do when he cried out to God about the approaching Egyptian army. I realized that I that it was time to get on with it.
As I went to the car and began to drive over to Cindy's, I knew that whatever the outcome -- keep in mind that we had not dated, we had not spoken about this together and she might totally shut me down -- I had to follow it out to the conclusion. I arrived at Cindy's apartment and knocked on the front door. There was no answer. Should I give up and go home? I thought, "no I have to settle this today," so I went to the back door. I knocked and Cindy answered the door.
Cindy: No more than two weeks had passed and I was having a very emotional day. I was dressed in orange sweat pants and shirt -- not expecting company -- ughh! There was a knock at my kitchen door. When I went to the door, John was there. He said he had to talk to me and ask me something. I invited him inside and we sat down. He said God had given him a special love for me and he wanted to ask me to marry him. Because I needed to have confidence that God was at work in this, I said, "On what basis?" John said, "Because God has given us an 'iron sharpens iron' relationship and I just can't rest until this is settled." When he said that, I said "Yes." I probably cried, too.
John: I was not expecting Cindy’s response, "On what basis?" So when she asked, I knew what I appreciated about her and our relationship, and I just knew I had to settle this. As it turned out, these exact things were what she needed to confirm what she had been praying. What a relief when she sighed and said, "Yes."
After that, we both wanted to share the happy news with Bill and Jan. We announced it to them and went over to visit for a while, then stayed up late and started planning, calling people and just rejoicing in our news...
This was just the beginning of miracles in our life together, small and large. We were able to pull together a wedding in six weeks, Cindy found a beautiful wedding dress and veil at a fraction of its original cost at a wedding shop. Later, my vision of Abraham and Sarah was fulfilled this way: After over a year of trying to have a baby with various infertility treatments, God blessed us with Joseph. That is another story. When Cindy and I chose an imprint for our wedding napkins, we chose the Bible verse about "a cord of three strands is not easily broken." Jesus has been the "strong strand" in the cord of our life together and we are thankful to be able to celebrate these twenty-five years together.
The next week I made an appointment to talk with Bill Woods about my conversation with Rob. Bill told me that I had insulated myself from relationships. I tended to back off if they got too close, but that wasn't healthy for the church. The body couldn't function properly if people weren't honest. If, perchance, there was a person that I felt a bond with -- more than just sharing a hymnal -- then I needed to ask God to work specific things in that person. Character traits, Bible verses, whatever God laid on my heart. Bill said I could be confident God was at work when the man did what I had been praying. I set about to do that for my dear friend John.
John had rescued me many times from rodents, lawn mowing, and not having a ride. He knew I was insecure with guy/girl relationships so I didn't think he would have unrealistic expectations. Besides, he had expressed care for me when we both worked at David's and at a conference we both attended before I moved to Indiana.
John: A very interesting thing happened after the campus fellowship meeting the next Friday night. The singles often went out to eat after fellowship. I happened to be with several younger guys at a restaurant when Cindy and some other girls from the fellowship walked by -- and we chatted briefly. One of the guys with me asked, "Is that your wife?" I answered, "No." but noted how curious a question it was.
Sunday morning came. I had to leave for work immediately after church. Bill spoke about Ruth and Boaz at worship that morning. Ruth and Boaz were another set of "major players" in my concept of my relationship with Cindy. Boaz's love for Ruth led him to take charge and settle things with regard to her well-being. Things had been building for several days and by this point, I was pretty bothered by this whole thing being unsettled. I kept praying when I had moments alone at work, like going to the stockroom for things.
After work, I went home and as I was there alone, I kept praying fervently about this situation. My promise to God was that if I determined that it was the right thing to do, I would follow through with it. I had been reminded again and again about my perspective of Moses crossing the Red Sea and as I thought about things and recounted them in my mind prayerfully, I realized that I had been brought to this point and there was only one thing to do. Almost audibly, I heard, "what are you waiting for, move forward." I didn't think about it at the time, but that was what God told Moses to do when he cried out to God about the approaching Egyptian army. I realized that I that it was time to get on with it.
As I went to the car and began to drive over to Cindy's, I knew that whatever the outcome -- keep in mind that we had not dated, we had not spoken about this together and she might totally shut me down -- I had to follow it out to the conclusion. I arrived at Cindy's apartment and knocked on the front door. There was no answer. Should I give up and go home? I thought, "no I have to settle this today," so I went to the back door. I knocked and Cindy answered the door.
Cindy: No more than two weeks had passed and I was having a very emotional day. I was dressed in orange sweat pants and shirt -- not expecting company -- ughh! There was a knock at my kitchen door. When I went to the door, John was there. He said he had to talk to me and ask me something. I invited him inside and we sat down. He said God had given him a special love for me and he wanted to ask me to marry him. Because I needed to have confidence that God was at work in this, I said, "On what basis?" John said, "Because God has given us an 'iron sharpens iron' relationship and I just can't rest until this is settled." When he said that, I said "Yes." I probably cried, too.
John: I was not expecting Cindy’s response, "On what basis?" So when she asked, I knew what I appreciated about her and our relationship, and I just knew I had to settle this. As it turned out, these exact things were what she needed to confirm what she had been praying. What a relief when she sighed and said, "Yes."
After that, we both wanted to share the happy news with Bill and Jan. We announced it to them and went over to visit for a while, then stayed up late and started planning, calling people and just rejoicing in our news...
This was just the beginning of miracles in our life together, small and large. We were able to pull together a wedding in six weeks, Cindy found a beautiful wedding dress and veil at a fraction of its original cost at a wedding shop. Later, my vision of Abraham and Sarah was fulfilled this way: After over a year of trying to have a baby with various infertility treatments, God blessed us with Joseph. That is another story. When Cindy and I chose an imprint for our wedding napkins, we chose the Bible verse about "a cord of three strands is not easily broken." Jesus has been the "strong strand" in the cord of our life together and we are thankful to be able to celebrate these twenty-five years together.
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
What Happened Next - 25th Anniversary Recollections
Cindy: I struggled with my singleness but I accepted it as God's design. I knew that when it came to relationships with men that I couldn't trust that they would be stable and secure or that sin wouldn't mar it.
It happened one weekend, as spring break was just ending, that I went with Christy, Rob and someone else to pick up trucks for Rob's U-Haul business. Somehow I ended up riding with Rob. He scared me to death when the first thing he asked me was "what I looked for in a husband." I quickly said that I didn't -- that I felt as if my singleness was a permanent proposition. He just as quickly told me that he didn't believe our pastor, Bill Woods would agree. In fact, he was quite sure that Bill would say no one in our church had the gift of celibacy. That hit me pretty hard because I was pretty keen on being under the pastoral leaderships' authority. So that night I cried out to God about whether I was wrong, asking "was I protecting myself from rejection, betrayal and insecurity?"
John: Rob started talking about his conversation with Cindy when he got home that Friday night. I told him -- with uncharacteristic bravado -- that I believed Cindy and I were meant to be together and I believed we would be married. His reply was that it would be some sort of miracle because Cindy had told him in no uncertain terms that she would not marry. I countered with the promise that if we were not engaged by the time Sunday ended, I would just drop the issue. Well, I'm not sure how I thought that would happen, but Sunday night came and I was not engaged. I dejectedly said I would keep my word and just let it drop. The next week would be a very down week for me -- sort of trying to "soldier on" disappointedly. Every time I thought about Cindy -- and that was often -- I reminded myself that I was dropping it.
It happened one weekend, as spring break was just ending, that I went with Christy, Rob and someone else to pick up trucks for Rob's U-Haul business. Somehow I ended up riding with Rob. He scared me to death when the first thing he asked me was "what I looked for in a husband." I quickly said that I didn't -- that I felt as if my singleness was a permanent proposition. He just as quickly told me that he didn't believe our pastor, Bill Woods would agree. In fact, he was quite sure that Bill would say no one in our church had the gift of celibacy. That hit me pretty hard because I was pretty keen on being under the pastoral leaderships' authority. So that night I cried out to God about whether I was wrong, asking "was I protecting myself from rejection, betrayal and insecurity?"
John: Rob started talking about his conversation with Cindy when he got home that Friday night. I told him -- with uncharacteristic bravado -- that I believed Cindy and I were meant to be together and I believed we would be married. His reply was that it would be some sort of miracle because Cindy had told him in no uncertain terms that she would not marry. I countered with the promise that if we were not engaged by the time Sunday ended, I would just drop the issue. Well, I'm not sure how I thought that would happen, but Sunday night came and I was not engaged. I dejectedly said I would keep my word and just let it drop. The next week would be a very down week for me -- sort of trying to "soldier on" disappointedly. Every time I thought about Cindy -- and that was often -- I reminded myself that I was dropping it.
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
How Cindy and I Met - 25th Anniversary Recollections
John: The first time I met Cindy -- in 1977 -- was at a weekend conference held at a camp next to Caney Lake, just a little ways from Ruston, Louisiana. I had traveled there from Emporia, Kansas with Bill Woods, my pastor. Bill was one of the conference speakers that weekend.
To properly understand the context that all these things happened in, I should do a little background about our church experience. In the early 1970's, several young men and women began an itinerant evangelistic outreach that focused on college campuses. They would locate at a campus, put on musical programs in the dorms, have Bible studies, have outdoor preaching and follow up by trying to band those who responded together as a fledgling church. After a period of time, they would move on to another campus and do the same thing. As a result, there were -- for lack of a better description -- campus Bible study churches from Texas to Ohio to Florida to Louisiana and many campuses in between. Bill Woods was a product of this outreach at Kansas University and had become a facilitator of other similar churches.
When God awakened me to my spiritual need, it was through this type of church, located where I went to college at Emporia State University in Kansas. Cindy had already been a member of the church at Louisiana Tech in Ruston for several years. It was the church at Louisiana Tech that had invited a sister church from Houston for a joint Christian Living conference and Bill Woods was one of the two invited speakers. As one of the founders of the church at Ruston, Bill was the common denominator between Emporia and Ruston.
I distinctly remember sitting outside the dining/meeting hall at a picnic table and talking with Cindy for a short period of time. One thing we still laugh about -- I remember having the conversation and she doesn't. I joke that I must have made a fantastic impression on her! In her defense, when we met and had that conversation, I was pretty overweight and it would be no wonder that when our trails crossed later, I looked different, having lost about 55 pounds.
After the conference, Bill and I traveled back to Ruston, and stayed over at the home of several single men who were in the church there. Cindy and someone else -- I can't remember who -- came over and made a travel lunch for Bill and myself before we headed back to Kansas. Along the way, when we unpacked our lunches, I found an index card with the food. It had the verse saying, "Whom have I in heaven but Thee and there is none upon the earth that I desire but Thee." For some reason I kept that index card for years -- and Cindy was very surprised to find it when she was unpacking my things at the apartment when we returned from our honeymoon.
Sometime later -- in 1979, I think -- Cindy was invited by Bill to consider joining the young fellowship at Emporia to help with the campus and community outreach. Cindy was very ill when the time came to move from Louisiana. She had to have some men in the fellowship drive her car up and move her things while she took a flight. Not long after her arrival, she was hospitalized had to have surgery for her ongoing "female" problems. I remember visiting her in the hospital, but mainly I was kind of a bother to her. I say that for this reason: I was very shy around her and didn't really know what to say -- so I made up for it by repeating things I read in the then-popular book How to Speak Southern. Not the thing to do!
Bill involved me in a project he and Dave Cook -- a pastor from Lawrence, Kansas -- were developing. The vision for this project was to form a pop-rock band that used Top-40 hit music to develop thematic programs bringing biblical concepts into focus. Dave Cook had been a professional drummer, I had been a semi-pro bass player and Bill recruited other band members from several sister churches that were talent-rich. Rehearsals and the subsequent "City Lights" tour kept me pretty tied up through the end of 1980.
After touring, we were sort of in limbo, thinking we might regroup after a rest and go at again. The possibility existed that me might relocate to a place more central to the network of campuses we were involved with. Bloomington, Indiana was one possibility. In the meantime, I got a job at a local discount store named David's -- sort of a regional Target -- which was where Cindy worked in the Cash Office. That was where I began to develop a true affection for her. I wanted to develop a deeper relationship with her, but was torn and fearful. As I pondered my options, I kept thinking of a common Biblical image, one that would figure into events later on. The image was that of Moses bringing the people of Israel to the Red Sea. When they were being apprehended by the Egyptian army, God parted the sea in order for the Israelites to pass over. I always felt in my relationship with Cindy that I was at the sea but it would not part. Until it did, I could not "move forward".
After several months, plans began being implemented for a team of couples and singles to migrate to Bloomington for a church plant. There was no discussion of reviving the music group, but I was urged by the church pastors to relocate to Bloomington. There was little doubt that part of the reason was that as they observed me in relation to Cindy, they realized that there was more emotion than substance and a little distance might put things in a better perspective. That summer, three small teams moved to Bloomington, a month apart. I was in the middle group and moved to Indiana early in June. I busied myself finding work -- not easy to do with 12% unemployment -- but after several weeks, I landed a job as a counter salesperson at Bender Lumber Company in Bloomington and settled in to work and campus ministry.
In the late fall, we had a retreat at an old mansion north of Bloomington. Several people who were still in Emporia came up for the weekend -- including Cindy. Late one evening, we got a change to chat with each other. Among other things, we talked about how we "used to" have feelings for each other months before, but we were past it now. For my own part, that was definitely not the truth. In reality, I never got over it -- and I still haven't!
The following fall, more people, including Bill and Jan Woods and Cindy had made the move to Bloomington and we all busied ourselves with our work and with campus bible studies and fellowship. For my part, I just tried to ignore my feelings and be productive. There were enjoyable opportunities to help her out with little things, like setting and emptying mouse traps, putting on window plastic for winter, having homemade mushroom soup -- yum! I tried to enjoy just being friends and that was okay for then. On through the winter and into the new year, on Valentine’s Day, I remember calling Cindy and chatting with her for several hours. I so enjoyed her. My roommate, Rob was aware of these things and marriage -- in generalities but not specifically -- was a topic of discussion between us.
To properly understand the context that all these things happened in, I should do a little background about our church experience. In the early 1970's, several young men and women began an itinerant evangelistic outreach that focused on college campuses. They would locate at a campus, put on musical programs in the dorms, have Bible studies, have outdoor preaching and follow up by trying to band those who responded together as a fledgling church. After a period of time, they would move on to another campus and do the same thing. As a result, there were -- for lack of a better description -- campus Bible study churches from Texas to Ohio to Florida to Louisiana and many campuses in between. Bill Woods was a product of this outreach at Kansas University and had become a facilitator of other similar churches.
When God awakened me to my spiritual need, it was through this type of church, located where I went to college at Emporia State University in Kansas. Cindy had already been a member of the church at Louisiana Tech in Ruston for several years. It was the church at Louisiana Tech that had invited a sister church from Houston for a joint Christian Living conference and Bill Woods was one of the two invited speakers. As one of the founders of the church at Ruston, Bill was the common denominator between Emporia and Ruston.
I distinctly remember sitting outside the dining/meeting hall at a picnic table and talking with Cindy for a short period of time. One thing we still laugh about -- I remember having the conversation and she doesn't. I joke that I must have made a fantastic impression on her! In her defense, when we met and had that conversation, I was pretty overweight and it would be no wonder that when our trails crossed later, I looked different, having lost about 55 pounds.
After the conference, Bill and I traveled back to Ruston, and stayed over at the home of several single men who were in the church there. Cindy and someone else -- I can't remember who -- came over and made a travel lunch for Bill and myself before we headed back to Kansas. Along the way, when we unpacked our lunches, I found an index card with the food. It had the verse saying, "Whom have I in heaven but Thee and there is none upon the earth that I desire but Thee." For some reason I kept that index card for years -- and Cindy was very surprised to find it when she was unpacking my things at the apartment when we returned from our honeymoon.
Sometime later -- in 1979, I think -- Cindy was invited by Bill to consider joining the young fellowship at Emporia to help with the campus and community outreach. Cindy was very ill when the time came to move from Louisiana. She had to have some men in the fellowship drive her car up and move her things while she took a flight. Not long after her arrival, she was hospitalized had to have surgery for her ongoing "female" problems. I remember visiting her in the hospital, but mainly I was kind of a bother to her. I say that for this reason: I was very shy around her and didn't really know what to say -- so I made up for it by repeating things I read in the then-popular book How to Speak Southern. Not the thing to do!
Bill involved me in a project he and Dave Cook -- a pastor from Lawrence, Kansas -- were developing. The vision for this project was to form a pop-rock band that used Top-40 hit music to develop thematic programs bringing biblical concepts into focus. Dave Cook had been a professional drummer, I had been a semi-pro bass player and Bill recruited other band members from several sister churches that were talent-rich. Rehearsals and the subsequent "City Lights" tour kept me pretty tied up through the end of 1980.
After touring, we were sort of in limbo, thinking we might regroup after a rest and go at again. The possibility existed that me might relocate to a place more central to the network of campuses we were involved with. Bloomington, Indiana was one possibility. In the meantime, I got a job at a local discount store named David's -- sort of a regional Target -- which was where Cindy worked in the Cash Office. That was where I began to develop a true affection for her. I wanted to develop a deeper relationship with her, but was torn and fearful. As I pondered my options, I kept thinking of a common Biblical image, one that would figure into events later on. The image was that of Moses bringing the people of Israel to the Red Sea. When they were being apprehended by the Egyptian army, God parted the sea in order for the Israelites to pass over. I always felt in my relationship with Cindy that I was at the sea but it would not part. Until it did, I could not "move forward".
After several months, plans began being implemented for a team of couples and singles to migrate to Bloomington for a church plant. There was no discussion of reviving the music group, but I was urged by the church pastors to relocate to Bloomington. There was little doubt that part of the reason was that as they observed me in relation to Cindy, they realized that there was more emotion than substance and a little distance might put things in a better perspective. That summer, three small teams moved to Bloomington, a month apart. I was in the middle group and moved to Indiana early in June. I busied myself finding work -- not easy to do with 12% unemployment -- but after several weeks, I landed a job as a counter salesperson at Bender Lumber Company in Bloomington and settled in to work and campus ministry.
In the late fall, we had a retreat at an old mansion north of Bloomington. Several people who were still in Emporia came up for the weekend -- including Cindy. Late one evening, we got a change to chat with each other. Among other things, we talked about how we "used to" have feelings for each other months before, but we were past it now. For my own part, that was definitely not the truth. In reality, I never got over it -- and I still haven't!
The following fall, more people, including Bill and Jan Woods and Cindy had made the move to Bloomington and we all busied ourselves with our work and with campus bible studies and fellowship. For my part, I just tried to ignore my feelings and be productive. There were enjoyable opportunities to help her out with little things, like setting and emptying mouse traps, putting on window plastic for winter, having homemade mushroom soup -- yum! I tried to enjoy just being friends and that was okay for then. On through the winter and into the new year, on Valentine’s Day, I remember calling Cindy and chatting with her for several hours. I so enjoyed her. My roommate, Rob was aware of these things and marriage -- in generalities but not specifically -- was a topic of discussion between us.
Thursday, December 13, 2007
Christmas 2007
Joy to the world, the Lord is come! Let earth receive her King;
Let every heart prepare Him room, And Heaven and nature sing, And Heaven and nature sing,
And Heaven, and Heaven, and nature sing.
How quickly this year has rolled past! Cindy and I are running behind -- we just returned from a business trip to the UK and are now trying to get in gear for the fast approaching holiday. We traveled to London the Monday following Thanksgiving and stayed at St Albans, a historic little town of about 125,000 north of London. It has lots of history -- dating back as far as the Roman times. I worked there for 2 days, then we traveled to Wales -- which was just beautiful -- for work over the weekend, then back to St Albans for the rest of the week, returning on a long, long flight Friday, December 7. It was all a tremendous blessing that neither of us would have ever thought we could have enjoyed. You can see comments and links to our pictures at:
Joy to the earth, the Savior reigns! Let men their songs employ;
While fields and floods, rocks, hills and plains Repeat the sounding joy, Repeat the sounding joy,
Repeat, repeat, the sounding joy.
Joseph graduated cum laude from University of Central Arkansas with double majors in Communications and Writing. During his last semester, he interned at Arkansas Educational Television Network which has its headquarters there at the university. He since was hired by AETN as an associate producer and has been working all through the fall on a broadcast project for which he is now writing the music score. He is getting to apply many of the talents he has developed over the years in a medium he really enjoys.
No more let sins and sorrows grow, Nor thorns infest the ground;
He comes to make His blessings flow Far as the curse is found, Far as the curse is found,
Far as, far as, the curse is found.
We have had a number of health challenges during the year. Things were going well with Cindy's chemo treatments, such that we asked for and received a break from the treatments beginning in June. Cindy has felt better and better throughout the summer and fall. Shortly before Labor Day, she began having tremendous problems with breathing and activity -- then the night of Labor Day, she had to be hospitalized, learning that what she had been experiencing was congestive heart failure. We were fortunate to be able to get good treatment for that and she is doing much better in that regard. However, after returning from the UK, her routine scans for cancer revealed that some of the growths that had been under control previously were now growing and becoming troublesome again. Her weakened heart condition will make that more difficult to deal with and she is in the prayers of many.
With Cindy's heart failure, we had to make a difficult decision about caring for Eddie in our home and he is now being cared for in a nursing home nearby. Cindy gets to visit him almost daily and he is still a joy to us.
He rules the world with truth and grace, And makes the nations prove
The glories of His righteousness, And wonders of His love, And wonders of His love,
And wonders, wonders, of His love.
You may have noticed that I have included the words to Isaac Watts' hymn "Joy to the World" in our letter this year. Those people of faith in years-gone-by proclaimed something we have forgotten in our world of turmoil. Jesus came to set creation and, most importantly, people free from the damage done by sin -- wherever it is found. To replace the curse with blessing. To overcome evil with good. He is the ruling King, not just in some future time, but now. He wants us to enjoy it with him.
Saturday, November 13, 2004
The Road Not Chosen (Part 2)
A while back I put up a post about Peter and Jesus conversing in John 21. Jesus was talking about a time in Peter's life when he would walk down a road that was chosen for him, in order to glorify God, but one that Peter would not have chosen on his own. As an update to that post, Cindy and I continue down that road. After being diagnosed with Uterine Sarcoma back in February, having a complete hysterectomy and underdoing radiation treatments for several months, we hoped we were through with that difficulty for a time.
Followup scans in the last few weeks showed a suspicious place in the spleen and she had surgery to remove the spleen for a biopsy. During that surgery, another tumor was found on some adominal tissue. The spleen was also found to have a malignant tumor. Cindy recuperated in the hospital for 6 days after the surgery and was able to come home. Three days later she had to return to the hospital because several large and dangerous blood clots formed in her left leg. She is recuperating in the hospital now, having the clots dissolved with blood thinners.
Again, we face a road we would not have chosen on our own. We know others face and have faced many of the same things. We only want to honor God in the midst of it. I'll keep things posted.
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